What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why am I so jealous towards couples? Why am I tired of being single and feel my life is over?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will NOT certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Why?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

TEXT:

Why does my girlfriend keep asking me if I love her?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

My dog is 2 weeks old. He's not eating, moving and always sleeping and I can't take him to a vet. What should I do?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!